Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Modern Gender Roles Affect Everyone

We obviously know that as our culture gets further and further away from the truth of God's word and what the Bible says, our world will look less like Christians and more like pagans every day. Well this has become apparent in one area in particular at rapid speed it as appeared. Some are calling it coincidence, random encounters or just being in the wrong place at the wrong time as we see this. We disagree….it is obvious that good Godly Christian respectable men are vanishing. So are the submissive, meek, gentle, kind hearted women as well. No, they aren't being wiped off the face of the earth, rather they are transforming into what the world accepts…selfishness, lack of chivalry, and pride to rise to the top.
Obviously this is where the disclaimer comes in---not all men and women are going to fall into this category as described here, but it's worth pointing out via this article just what is becoming the norm for unsaved and falsely converted people who are not rooted in Christ and His word. So if you are one of those truly saved individuals not behaving this way…pass this article on to someone who needs to read it and we thank God that there are men and women like you out there that answer the call of Christ.
Let's start with the men first. It has become apparent that the idea of respecting a woman has gone by the wayside.  No longer do men open car doors for their wives, or hold the door open when going in somewhere. How about when men used to stand when a woman entered the room? The complete disregard for the weaker vessel of a woman as scripture points out in 1 Peter 3:7 has run rampant in today's society. Obviously the passage is talking about husbands and wives, but I think there is a principle to be drawn from the idea of a woman being weaker, not of less value, but should be treated with respect and dignity. 
Lori has had several encounters where not only was there a lack of regard for her as a female, but simply just the idea to be respectful to another human has become a thing of the past.
It has been different occurrences here and there, and then more specific as Lori will explain in a particular instance later on.  Here are some brief examples:  walking in the mall and male teen-agers just walk right in front of you, cut you off, and are more interested in gawking at toys than respecting that they just literally ignored your walking space. In addition, guys standing in a checkout stand at a store staring at the pornographic magazine covers that line the entry next to candy bars and gum.  Recently, we were sitting at restaurants on two separate occasions, the first one that was bothersome were a group of married men with rings on fingers doing nothing short of flirting with the waitress and wait staff at a "family restaurant." The other time we were out with friends and at the table next to us there was a young man looking to be the age of about 16 or 17 flipping through his iphone pictures of "friends" as he ate with his mom, dad, and younger brother. Lori casually looked over to see what this kid was doing when she noticed the pictures were not appropriate for anyone to be observing. What is worse, he even showed a few to his mom who seemed to just brush it off.  Appalling behavior that would never have been tolerated back just 50 years ago. Total disrespect for women as a gender and not only that, just a disrespect for a woman as a person as noted above.  (We will note that women are not innocent of some of these things either, they can be just as bad with their gossipy talk and too often overly detailed private conversations.)
While shopping for groceries a couple of weeks ago, I had a basketful of groceries and was pulled up to my trunk to start unloading them. There were a few heavy items that were on the underside of the basket that needed to be lifted up into the trunk. As soon as I got to my trunk and lifted the lid there was an average sized looking guy that followed up behind me. It startled me that he was right there and holding onto my basket. I could see by his logo on his shirt that he worked for the store, so I thought, how nice, he's going to help me unload my groceries. Think again. As he proceed to stand there saying nothing, I looked up as I'm loading the bags in and say "is there something you needed?" The response that was given as this grown adult guy is playing games on his phone was a mumbled "I'm waiting for the cart." Taken aback by the complete disrespect not only that a guy wouldn't offer to help a woman with heavy bags, then the fact that he's a store employee and didn't even offer customer service prompted me to respond with, "well while you are standing there, you could help me lift those into the trunk." He proceeded to stare at his phone and say "that's okay." Seriously?  A grown man at least in his late twenties if not thirties would rather play a game on his phone than be helpful and respectful? Wow. So I then responded, in a kind tone, "man, I guess chivalry sure is gone nowadays huh?" To which the guy replied, "yep, I guess so."  So I finished putting the groceries in my trunk by myself and the cart was free. That is what he was waiting for wasn't it? He wanted me to push it on over to him so he could push it on into the store with some others he was gathering.
Gender roles have definitely become something that is to blame as well. We have taken the idea of the man being the spiritual leader of the home, being the protector of the family, and have switched that around to look something like the following- women now wanting to be co-equals and have it all, be a mom, climb the corporate ladder, preach in the church pulpit and be on the same footing as men. It's sad. It's an epidemic and its growing deeper and deeper as we sink into the pit of social gospel lies, feminism running rampant, and passive men watching it all happen.
It's starting in the homes and these girls and boys are seeing a different home life, then they are going out and living that in the world and thus the vicious cycle returns over and over.
Just the other day a new mother told us that she couldn't wait to get back to work because she missed it so much. That she loved her corporate career and was definitely not giving that up to simply just stay at home all day with her new baby. It was as if the idea of being a stay at home was appalling to even think of. In fact, the truth comes out that even when this baby was still in her womb they had the child on a waiting list for daycare and are still waiting for a slot to open up so that the mother in law won't have to watch the baby anymore. What in the world? When did being a stay at home mom become a downgrade in society? When did fulfilling your role as a biblical mom as Titus 2: 4-5 clearly points out become acceptable to abdicate it?
The Bible defined the roles of men and women quite clearly and there is a reason for it. God knows what He is doing. He clearly spelled out how a home is to be operated, what men are to do, and what women are to do in a general sense and even more specific in other verses. Ephesians 5 gives great examples of all of this. What is sad is that since the tables have been flipped so drastically, even if men were to do some of these respectful actions, women have distorted the view so much that it's taken out of context to where they see it as flirtatious or that they are being demeaned because they are female. So in a lot of ways both genders are flawed to many extremes throwing the entire roles out of whack and therefore we now have what you see going on everyday; single parents, over-worked husbands, corporate driven moms, in debt families, passive husbands who don't know how to lead, overbearing wives that don't know how to submit, and children lost in the mix because no one is there to take care of them because they are too busy making money or too busy playing a role they were never called to be in.
Honestly….what is going on with men? Is it because they are being raised to be enabled and not have to get a job, take responsibility, or maybe because they don't have a male role model in the home? And what is going on with women? Is it because they don't know what true biblical feminism looks like and that the term domestic is now a derogatory word to them? Or could it just be that they are all lost? Simply lost as lost can be, and not just lost on the idea of morality or the concept of how to treat a woman, or how to be a women, but lost in the spiritual sense.  We know that is obviously the root cause of the problem, as it always is with sin. It's a heart issue. Lost people treat other people no differently because there is no conviction of the heart.
False converts do this scenario very well. They do the "Jesus thing" and therefore think all is well, all the while they are not exhibiting the attributes of a godly lifestyle and role. False converts are more dangerous than the lost, because they will go to church on Sunday, then send their child off to daycare Monday when mom should be at home, disrespect each other routinely, ignore the family time just to get to work so they can pay off the enormous debt they've incurred to keep up with the Joneses, and the unsaved world sees this and thinks this is how you live out the Gospel.  They are lying to themselves and they are portraying a horrible picture for the lost because they are lost themselves and they don't even realize it. This is definitely the diagnosis of the root. There needs to be recognition of sins and trust in the Lord Jesus to save you, and for the Holy Spirit to grant you repentance by crying out to Him to rescue you. That is the only way anything gets turned around. 
This is how you get off the exhausting roller coaster of trying to be something you were never designed to be, and how you fulfill your role biblically and honorably. Life isn't meant to be difficult in this area, we will have trials, but why induce them by trying to do it your way? The Bible is so clear on these roles, but before you can even try to accomplish them, you have to have be regenerated by the Holy Spirit doing a work in you. We pray that if any of this sounds familiar and it's pricked your conscience that you would take the time to search the scriptures and see if these things are so as we have brought them to you. Be a good Berean and see what the Lord says about what your life should look like. 1 John is a great place to start if you think your life doesn't look like a Christian and you might be falsely converted.  Ephesians, Timothy, Titus all are books with great instruction in them for the life of a believer and what the roles of it all looks like. Test everything and stand firm in the faith!

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